How real estate agents might sell fictional homes

Have you ever wondered how a real estate agent would try to sell the homes of your favourite TV and movie characters?

How would one market a home for a Hobbit, for instance? What about a fancy apartment in the Big Apple for Carrie Bradshaw, or a swamp for a green ogre?

We’ve chosen 10 of the most iconic fictional TV and movie homes from around the world and imagined how they might be pitched to renters and potential homebuyers.

Please note: These real estate listings are entirely fictional and based on homes and properties that appear in films or television shows.

You’re also within walking distance to some of the city’s biggest hotspots, including:

• Washington Square Park
• Soho
• bars
• shops
• theatres (because let’s face it – every New Yorker has that friend who’s trying their hand at acting).

Complete with eye-catching purple walls, the cosy living room and kitchen area is bound to become the ultimate hang out for your group of friends (just ask the previous tenants). Think action-packed poker nights, hilarious bachelorette parties, the most memorable Thanksgiving dinners you’ll ever have or even just a place to hang around in wedding dresses with two of your best gal pals. Plus, whether you’ve got a chicken, duck, smelly cat, monkey or anything in between, all pets are welcome!

While the apartment is close to perfect, we’re willing to negotiate the price due to some quirks. For example, you’ll need to pivot to get furniture up to this space and your neighbour downstairs may complain about the noise you make.

Here’s the story of a lovely property that has just become available on 4222 Clinton Way for the picture-perfect all-American family. If you’re raising three very lovely girls or three boys of your own, and need a home to accommodate your bunch, this could be the property for you.

As you walk through the front door, you’ll enter the large living and dining room area, complete with stunning brick and stone walls. While it’s the perfect place for plenty of family shenanigans, we don’t recommend displaying any priceless vases or heirlooms here (particularly if you’ve got kids who love to play ball in the house). This area leads through to a spacious family room complete with daybeds, ‘70s-style decor and an eye-catching orange and avocado green kitchen. Porkchops and applesauce, anyone?

One of the bedrooms and bathrooms is located at the back of the house on the first floor (previous tenants used this as a room for their housemaid). There’s also a chic den that’s perfect if you work from home or need a hideaway from the constant chaos that comes with raising a family.

An elegant set of stairs in the living room area takes you to the second floor, where most of the bedrooms are tucked away. This level includes a master bedroom (complete with gorgeous ensuite bathroom), and two more bedrooms connected to a shared bathroom. There’s even an attic which can double as another groovy bedroom (just don’t promise it to one of your kids without telling your partner first).

Like every great house in suburbia, this one is complete with a spacious backyard. It features AstroTurf (which you’ll never need to mow), a beautiful garden, swing set, teeter-totter, basketball hoop (for important father and son or sibling bonding moments) and kennel for a dog.

For ideal comfort, you’ll want to secure your “spot” in the living room as soon as you move in. By this, we mean somewhere that’s close enough to a radiator in winter to remain warm but without causing perspiration, but also in a cross-breeze path to stay cool in the summer months. Winning a game of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock could help you win eternal dibs on this spot.

The living room area is currently furnished with a comfortable brown couch and sofa chair, coffee table, a whiteboard and ample space for a myriad of books and geeky possessions. There’s also plenty of room to customise your private bedroom areas, as well as access to WiFi for all your technological devices (current password is pennyisafreeloader).

The apartment complex is equipped with a communal laundry in the basement. We recommend washing at 8:15pm on a Saturday to secure a washing machine and dryer.

Unfortunately, the building’s elevator is out of action due to a science experiment gone wrong, so you’ll need to walk up and down several flights of stairs to get to and from your apartment. It’s not all bad, though, with previous tenants using this time to get to know their neighbours better (and even welcoming them in for a hot beverage). Doorbells in the complex are also not working, so you may endure other tenants knocking three times persistently to be let into specific homes within the building.

Attention all witches, wizards and muggles: The Chamber’s worst-kept secret is now on the market! That’s right, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is seeking a new gamekeeper to occupy a homely stone hut on the outskirts of its magical grounds.

This rustic one-room comes with everything you need to live comfortably. Although it appears small, it has previously housed a half-giant and his dog!

As you march up the stairs and through the front door, you’ll notice an open fireplace that’s perfect for brewing tea, boiling hearty meals and even hatching dragon eggs. The hut also includes a cosy kitchen area, bed space, bathroom and ample space to entertain guests.

Of course, you’ll likely be spending most of your time in your pumpkin patch, caring for fantastic beasts or running other errands for the school’s headmaster. There’s even space for you to park your flying motorcycle!

The gamekeeper is also welcome to venture to the castle for feasts in the Great Hall. You can admire the myriad of talking paintings, converse with the school’s ghosts and take the moving staircases to all the magical nooks and crannies of the enchanted castle (just avoid the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side).

You won’t need Knuts, Sickles or Galleons to cover your rent and will instead undertake caretaker duties in exchange for staying in the hut. While negotiable, these duties typically include:

• protecting the keys and grounds of the wizarding school;
• hand-delivering acceptance letters to certain students;
• looking after the beasts and magical creatures that live on the grounds;
• gardening;
• mentoring new students; and
• ensuring peace within the Forbidden Forest.

While pets such as toads, owls, three-headed dogs, hippogriffs and rats are welcome, applicants should note that giant spiders, basilisks and dragons are not welcome – despite the best efforts of the previous tenant.

Stop right now! Are you looking to spice up your life? Perhaps you’re in one of the world’s biggest pop groups and really, really, really want a stylish set of wheels to take you from A to Z? Live and travel in style with the Spice Bus! Complete with an unmissable Union Jack print on the outside, the interior boasts five unique chill-out areas to suit any personality. Say goodbye to long trips with only your Walkman to keep you entertained!

If you’re feeling a bit posh and can’t decide between the Little Gucci dress or the Little Gucci dress, strut your stuff down your very own onboard catwalk. For the sporty at heart, there’s a built-in gym, while the swing and slide combo, adorable fluffy toys and endless supply of Chupa Chups won’t just impress the baby of your group.

There’s nothing scarier than your boots going missing before a big photo shoot, but thankfully there’s endless wardrobe space to hide your trendy footwear (and it’s decked out in your favourite zebra and leopard prints). No tour bus is complete without a plush red couch (in the shape of a pouty pair of lips), which is a perfect place to pen your next number one hit or read the day’s horoscopes. Other features include:

• a kitchen, with spicy eats and sweet treats available on request;
• a chauffeur named Dennis available 24/7;
• aquarium featuring spotty, wacky, fluffy and cute fish (and even one that looks like someone’s ex-boyfriend, Steven); and
• an abundance of fluffy pillows for the ultimate girls’ night in.

Attention all fairy-tale creatures! A swamp close to Duloc and an onion coach trip from Far Far Away is now available. Whether you’re an onion with layers, a bachelorette who loves getting caught in the rain or a puss that wears boots, this is an opportunity not to be missed.

The rustic living space is complete with a bedroom, comfortable sitting room and a kitchen that’s perfect for making waffles in the morning or munching on roasted rats by earwax candlelight at night.

While it’s a perfectly suitable location for even the loneliest of beasts, it’s also the ideal place to settle down with a princess you rescued from a tower, to raise baby ogres and dronkeys or to share with your noble steed! Previous occupants include Pinocchio, Snow White and the Big Bad Wolf (there may have also been a brief blind mice infestation in the past).

You’ll also love the property’s outside features just as much as the internal spaces. These include a stinky mud bath (complete with fart-fuelled bubbles), a pungent mud shower, an outhouse toilet and a courtyard to host all your fairy-tale friends. For comfort, we recommend that annoying talking donkeys and dragons sleep outside the shack.

As you walk through the entrance to 5A, you’ll notice your living room area complete with a TV and comfortable green sofas. It’s the perfect place to become the master of your domain or to host a special event with your friends. Imagine gathering with your pals around the Festivus pole and airing your grievances on December 23.

This space doubles as your kitchen and is complete with a wrap-around counter. It’s the perfect spot to store all your favourite breakfast cereals or to chow down on a big salad (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

As is often the case with apartments in the Big Apple, this one is quite compact. There’s an intimate dining area behind the sofa, room to hang your bike on the wall and even a corner area that’s ideal for your computer, desk and other office essentials. There’s also space for your books, VCR manuals, comic books, board games and other collectibles, as well as plenty of closet space for your favourite puffy shirts.

The apartment comes with a bathroom (just your standard tub/sink/toilet New York combo, but be wary of the low-flow showerhead) and bedroom, as well as a hidden tool shed and stock room. It’s also within walking distance to Monk’s café, H&H Bagels, a Chinese restaurant with ridiculously long wait times and a soup place that will leave you stunned (seriously, you can’t eat it standing up – your knees will buckle).

Book an appointment with Jerry today.

If you’ve been searching Middle Earth for a Hobbit hole to call your own, look no further!

Bag End, located on Bagshot Row in the picturesque town of Hobbiton in The Shire, is now available. And before you ask: the previous tenant has left his possessions here after running off in a hurry, so this location comes fully furnished! Who knows what hidden treasure you’ll find in these tunnels?

This hole in the ground is truly like nothing you’ve seen before and makes the ultimate bachelor pad for a couple of hobbits returning from a hard day adventuring.

As you walk through the round, green front door with a brass knob in the middle (don’t mind the rune carved into it), you’ll notice a myriad of tube-shaped hallways that lead to all sorts of unexpected nooks and crannies.

The floors are tiled and decorated with stylish rugs, and there’s a surprising amount of room for all your precious trinkets and belongings. There’s even space for all your smart waistcoats, breeches, jackets and cloaks, as well as plenty of pegs for your visitors to hang their belongings on when they’re over.

Speaking of guests, anyone over three feet and six inches will likely need to bow their head when entering, or risk smashing into a chandelier or roof paling.

The living room features a fireplace and is the perfect place to host a dinner party with 13 of your favourite hobbit friends. Your bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, sitting room and even a study are all tucked away for the ultimate privacy, while the home also includes plenty of round windows. There’s even a garden out back if you want to grow your own carrots or potatoes!

Calling all netballers, housewives, purveyors of fine meats and everyone in between! You’ll want to crack open a bottle of Baileys and box of barbeque Shapes because a nice, different and unusual townhouse in the effluent suburb of Fountain Lakes is now on the market.

Picture starting your day with your yoghurt and muesli in your spacious kitchen and living room area, and capping it off with a glass of Chardonnay during wine time in your own private backyard in the evening. They’re just some of the dreams that can become a reality with this property.

While the house is technically equipped with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and even a “good room”, it’s entirely up to you how you use them. Past tenants have used bedrooms for pump and Pilates, bathrooms as nurseries and the good room to host parties and store the fold-out couch.

The home is also complete with all usual amenities, including a fully functioning kitchen (perfect for cooking chicken feet and footy franks), a modern laundry area and even a sliding door around the back for when your second-best friend pops around unannounced.

The house’s internal areas are currently painted white but could easily be transformed into eggplant if you’ve done the TAFE course. There’s also ample space for your yuuuge collection of man bags, ‘80s ensembles and bumbalinas.

Rottweilers and other pets are welcome.

Note from the agent: No kiss, no home.

If you’re a sassy, single and independent person in New York City who couldn’t help but wonder if it’s really possible to find a pad to call your own, we’ve got news for you. A chic brownstone apartment is now available on the Upper-East side of Manhattan!

Whether you’re a columnist, publicist, lawyer, art dealer or something in between, you’ll immediately fall in love with this one-bedroom, one-bathroom home. Complete with a kitchenette and snug living area, it’s the perfect location to down a few Cosmopolitans with your friends, read the latest issue of Vogue or type away on your laptop.

The best part is you can tailor this space to your own taste and style. Previous tenants have mixed high fashion with vintage pieces to make the space uniquely theirs.

Speaking of style, did we mention that the apartment comes with a huge walk-in closet that connects the bedroom to the bathroom? There’s an abundance of space for your vast collection of Manolo Blahnik shoes, not to mention any Dior, Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Oscar de la Renta or Chanel pieces you own. Oh, and handbags! There’s plenty of space for those as well.

Hot tip: If you’re a modern New Yorker who doesn’t cook, you can use your oven to store extra sweaters if you run out of space.

Some of the city’s best food hotspots, including Magnolia Bakery, Balzac, 21 Club and Cafeteria, are at your fingertips, not to mention the endless boutique fashion stores (as well as Bergdorf Goodman, Barneys and Saks Fifth Avenue) that are within walking distance to your home.

As a previous occupant once said: ‘Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.’

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